LEADERSHIP
When to Play Chicken

Some folks say a sense of humor can deflate most mental aggravation, sort of like letting the air out of an ugly balloon, which is almost the same thing as sitting on a whoopee cushion, so there you go. But here’s a serious question:

What do you do when your efforts to inspire, motivate and lead others come smack up against that one person who downpours on every parade? Maybe you’ve tried talking sense and they shrugged it off. Maybe you’ve walked away and they gave chase with more complaints. Or you told yourself you didn’t care… but you do, because the scientific truth is we are naturally affected by other people’s negativity.

Good Leaders Must Deflect Bad Energy

Let’s say it’s gotten to the point where every unpleasant interaction with this whiner puts you on edge because you’re just so tired of it. But as a good leader, you can’t afford to be sucked down into their vortex of bleh.

If this is a professional situation, and you’re the organization’s top dog, you might fire the scoundrel, and if they aren’t a valuable asset, I say fire away. But if you don’t have that prerogative, you’ll need another solution. First warning: I’m about to share my secret weapon. It’s powerful, so if you don’t want that responsibility, then stop reading here.

A Secret Weapon to Negate Negativity

You’re still reading so please promise yourself that you won’t abuse your secret power. Are we good on that? Okay. This is a technique I learned in advanced hypnosis training.

As a master hypnotist, I get a lot of people meeting me for the first time who nervously ask, “Are you going to turn me into a chicken?” The answer is of course not, silly. But secretly I can turn anybody into a chicken. And that’s what I’m going to teach you how to do. Only, it’s not what you think.

You won’t need to hypnotize anyone. A little mind-control will suffice. Moreover, the mind you’ll enjoy controlling will be your own. This is a perfectly safe technique which has been successfully deployed by many fine citizens. Still, it’s best not to abuse it, and also it does require a sense of humor.

If They Knew What Humor Could Do…

Alrighty then. You’re going to train your brain to remain undisturbed—indeed, even pleasantly amused—by the presence of your foe, regardless of their usual negative behavior. This will allow you to maintain your positive energy, to focus on what’s important, and to lead with aplomb.

Let’s pause for a bit of the neuroscience behind why this technique works. First, you’ll access your visual cortex (a powerhouse of the brain) through mental imaging. Then with practice you’ll lay down some new neural maps, training your subconscious to conjure up a particular picture whenever you encounter the problem person. That, in turn, will influence two emotional regulators, your insular cortex and your amygdala, so that your brain will bypass annoyance and light up with amusement.

No need to memorize. There’s no quiz. Just follow these easy steps:

How to Turn People Into Chickens

1. Treat yourself to a comfy chair in a quiet place where you can close your eyes for a minute or two.
2. Close your eyes and take a moment to get relaxed—belly breathing, perhaps?
3. Bring into your imagination, as best you can, an image of Negative Nelly or Ned. For now, let this be a silent flic, so put them on mute. Make the picture as vivid and lifelike as possible in your mind’s eye.
4. Now put them in a chicken suit. In all seriousness—create an image that’s so absurd you make yourself smile. Watch them strut, sit, gesture, fluff their feathers, whatever.
5. (Optional) If you want, add audio and let them talk… then change their voice to a comical squawking. However, be very careful, because if you actually need to hear what they say—for example, if they’re your boss or your accountant—then it’s safer to just do visuals.
6. Practice enjoying this mind-movie clip several times a day for a week or more. This will create long-lasting connections in your brain’s neural circuitry.
7. Whenever you encounter the culprit in person, as best you can, “see” them in their chicken suit. You may need to consciously remind yourself at times, but the more you practice (alone and in their company) the more your subconscious will automatically generate the effect when they’re present. Of course you’ll continue to accurately discern their real-life appearance—don’t worry, you’re not going to hallucinate—but now at some level of your consciousness, they’ll be tucked into a chicken suit.

Why Complainers Annoy Leaders

You see, their behavior was putting you on edge in the first place for two reasons. The first reason is that evolution has wired us for tribal bonding; we thrive on social connection. Your organization is basically a tribe. When a troublemaker interacts with other tribe members in a consistently complaining manner, it shreds the group’s sense of well-being. As a leader, you’re naturally protective of your tribe. When someone’s behavior undermines your tribe, you’re automatically annoyed.

The second reason is that evolution also has wired us to be reactive to negativity in general. If you were living on the Serengeti in constant danger of being eaten by a saber-toothed tiger, it’d be helpful to react at the negative news of seeing one come into your cave. Evolution thus left us with what scientists now call the “negativity bias,” our brains’ tendency to auto-scan for threat and to focus on the negative. This prompts you to react strongly to negative input. Unfortunately, this same bias also influences certain people—including your local loser—to generate needless negativity in lieu of real tigers.

What a pickle. Because today we don’t live in the wild, those negative tendencies no longer serve us. Indeed, scores of scientific studies now prove it behooves us to focus on the positive.

No Shame or Blame, Let’s Lighten Up

So that’s why it’s not your fault that the resident pessimist was bringing you down. But that’s also why you can’t let them affect you that way. To be a good leader, you’ve got to maintain your upbeat energy as motivator, mentor and role model.

Okay, now you know how and when to play chicken. It’s funny but can solve a serious problem. It can work so well, in fact, that I hope you’ll only use this tactic when appropriate, and never on friends or intimates. Because there is one side effect. The nuisance whom you’re putting into a chicken suit? By defusing their negativity threat, you’ll begin to find that person plain pathetic, truly pitiful.

However, please know that in the long run, you might just do them a favor. Their subconscious may gradually register that their negative antics no longer win them attention. And this could catalyze a shift toward the positive. People can change. Someday that chicken may cross that road.