HOW TO TALK
Behind People’s Backs
Once upon a long time ago, when my client Joe turned five, he got assigned to make his own bed. This was an outrage, a unilateral change to his job description, but he was powerless against the higher-ups. He did the task resentfully, sloppily and sporadically until one evening on a day when he’d at […]
Continue readingLEADERSHIP
When to Play Chicken
Some folks say a sense of humor can deflate most mental aggravation, sort of like letting the air out of an ugly balloon, which is almost the same thing as sitting on a whoopee cushion, so there you go. But here’s a serious question: What do you do when your efforts to inspire, motivate and […]
Continue readingTake this test to discover your mindset.
The science behind it may surprise you!
For each one of the following statements, decide whether you mostly agree, or mostly disagree: 1. Your intelligence is something very basic about you that you can’t change much. 2. You can learn new things, but you can’t really change how intelligent you are. 3. No matter how much intelligence you have, you can always […]
Continue readingEmpower others through praise!
Alert them to their core strengths.
What’s the most empowering praise you ever received? Chances are that it was something specific, not vague, and that it called attention to at least one of your core personal strengths. Honor the purpose of praise. As you expand your influence through the power of praise, remember the purpose of praise. It’s not to win […]
Continue readingStand by your praise!
Share it with the world.
My client Lynda showed up for her session stressed out because a fellow director at her company had praised her. Does Lynda have a problem accepting compliments? Not at all. It was the director’s delivery that spooked her. Secretive praise arouses anxiety. “This morning’s meeting was loud and contentious about when to release our next […]
Continue readingThe secret ingredient
of subconscious influence.
How do you direct your subconscious “Pymalion power” to bring out the best in others? This is trickier than just giving encouragement or praise. To tap into this particular scientific “magic,” we must go deeper. Words alone aren’t enough. In the last blog, we talked about how you can direct others’ subconscious influence over you […]
Continue readingHow to direct the “magic”
of the Pygmalion effect.
J. K. Rowling once told Oprah that she doesn’t believe in magic. Me neither. I believe in science. But new science tells us that we have nearly magical powers to affect other people. And that means, others also have some powers over us. The question is, what will you do about it? We are all […]
Continue readingLessons from 3 of the Most Powerful
Self-Made Women in Business
Give a big welcome to our guest blogger CeCe Clark, entrepreneur, speaker and author of the upcoming book “After the Fall: Creating Success in the Face of Failure” (Barrett-Kohler, 2013). There has probably never been a better time in history to be a woman. Besides just being fabulous, women today are enjoying so many of the […]
Continue readingImprove your relationships
by giving praise. Be specific!
“My friends do a lot for me and I want to help them too,” my client María told me, “But I don’t have any free time.” Fortunately, there’s something that everyone wants and needs, which any of us can give, and which doesn’t demand much time—but does require sincerity and specificity. And that is, praise. […]
Continue readingWhat creates good relationships?
Positive interactions and trust.
“With so much relationship advice out there, I feel overwhelmed,” my client Martin said. “Can’t you just give me the basics?” Why, yes. What creates a good relationship? Scientists have discovered two foundational pillars: positivity and trust. Research now shows that for any relationship to thrive, whether it be personal or professional, romantic or platonic, […]
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