Couples alert: Grudges grow bigger if you hold them in.
Almost 100 years ago, psychologists discovered the Zeigarnik Effect: We tend to dwell on matters that we’ve left incomplete. Among couples, I call it the Grudge Effect. When one partner remains upset about an unspoken issue, that issue takes on bigger and bigger significance until it’s dealt with. So if you’re holding on to a […]
Continue readingGreat relationship advice: Stop giving advice!
Maribeth knows her husband Joe so well she can see through his blind spots. She loves him so much that she draws on her wider perspective to give him great advice. He could get a raise if…. He’d tell jokes better if.… He’d be happier if…. She’s always right. And it backfires every time. Give […]
Continue reading