Laughing makes a lass attractive.
No joke, it’s science!
This post is for gals who want to know how to be more attractive… and it’s for guys who like to make women laugh. Everybody in? Here’s a funny test: Three couples walk into a bar. Couple #1 talks seriously, their eyes locked on each other in earnest dialogue. Couple #2 enjoys back-and-forth witty repartee, […]
Continue readingTake this test to discover your mindset.
The science behind it may surprise you!
For each one of the following statements, decide whether you mostly agree, or mostly disagree: 1. Your intelligence is something very basic about you that you can’t change much. 2. You can learn new things, but you can’t really change how intelligent you are. 3. No matter how much intelligence you have, you can always […]
Continue readingGo beyond good listening.
Practice giving validation!
Picture a woman telling her mate that the movie they just saw deeply angered her because it showed callousness toward cats. He liked the movie, but can see she is upset. A happy-couples quiz: How should he react? Remind her it was just a movie (and they were just cats!), so it’s silly to be […]
Continue readingIn a tough talk, avoid wronging; Instead, choose righting!
Waiting in line for my double espresso, I heard a young man at a table talking enthusiastically on his cell. I glanced over and was surprised to see he wasn’t alone. A woman—I’m guessing girlfriend—sat staring at him, looking enraged. He didn’t seem to notice her, as he cheerfully discussed camping equipment. “No dude, the […]
Continue readingTime to have that difficult talk?
It’ll end well if you begin it nicely.
How can you ensure that a difficult talk with your romantic partner will end on a positive note? Research shows that in 96% of cases, the answer’s amazingly simple: Start your discussion on a positive note! If conflict snowballs, it can do damage. “I’m livid at Alex for joking about my driving in front of […]
Continue readingDon’t fight in bed—unless it’s play!
My client Stacey wondered why her married sex life had gone downhill. As we talked, it surprised her to discover one simple yet serious reason: she and John had fallen into a habit of arguing at bed time. The bedroom (and the bed itself) had become a subconscious symbol of negativity. They liked sex, but […]
Continue readingBypass “realism” regarding your mate.
Create the Michelangelo effect!
When you fall in love, you see your darling in a rosy light, quickly explaining away their foibles and perhaps exaggerating their heroic qualities. That’s fine for budding romance, but once the two of you settle in for the long haul, it’s time to be a realist, right? Noooooo! Let go of your need to […]
Continue readingWhat creates good relationships?
Positive interactions and trust.
“With so much relationship advice out there, I feel overwhelmed,” my client Martin said. “Can’t you just give me the basics?” Why, yes. What creates a good relationship? Scientists have discovered two foundational pillars: positivity and trust. Research now shows that for any relationship to thrive, whether it be personal or professional, romantic or platonic, […]
Continue readingWant to help your friends? Celebrate their wins!
My client Karen thought she was an ideal friend to other people. A registered nurse, she was especially conscientious about helping out in times of trouble—consoling the heartbroken and running errands for the bedridden. She couldn’t understand why her friends didn’t want to spend more time with her, or why some of her friendships ended […]
Continue readingHow “supporting” another person’s goals can be downright harmful.
In our personal and professional relationships, most of us like to think we’re supportive of other people as they pursue their goals. But if in our desire to help, we become, let’s say, “over-enthusiastic,” we may do actual harm. One common mistake is to offer suggestions (even valid ones) too aggressively, or in the wrong […]
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